When my mom was in town this past week, we were joking about how much has changed this past year. 2020 was beyond a shit show. This week last year, I was moving away from college, moving out of my dorm and into my grandparent’s house in Missouri.
At the time, my future was speeding up. I thought that I was going to have a few more months to figure out my plans before graduation, more times with my friends, more memories. after 4 years in Fayetteville, I felt like it was really and truly home. But, as life goes, when we make plans, God laughs. This time last year, my anxiety was at an all time high. Morning, noon, and night, the news was playing. Every morning new numbers came in, of those who were sick and those who had died. It was still terrible weather in Missouri and I was stuck inside, taking Hemy on 2 walks a day when it was semi okay out.
Since I was with my grandparents, I was even more careful, not wanting them to get sick. I remember that I would go to the grocery store for them and my mom, sanitizing all the bags when I got back, double masking and getting looks like I was crazy…. (oh the early days of the pandemic…) It was, terrible, but I was one of the lucky ones. I haven’t lost any family, we still have our businesses, and we are doing well. But it doesn’t mean that it didn’t completely rock us as a family and individually. One of the things I am most proud of about my family can be summed up in the lyrics, “We may lie down in darkness
But we don’t lose our sparks; we bring back a good story to tell”.
So, we became flexible. We shut our restaurant down, and moved only to carry out, working as a family to continue on. While we were shut down, we used the time to get much needed work done. We completely redid the inside of the restaurant, as well as some parts outside. When the weather was nice, we went over and painted my mom’s house. We got things organized and cleaned. We baked. We watched Tik Tok. We blogged. We watched a ridiculous amount of old Westerns together. We went on walks. And walked. And walked. Hemingway now has separation anxiety that he didn’t have before, after being attached to my hip for the past year.
So, now that I am vaccinated, a whole year later, I went out for the first time. I went to the Charleston bar crawl this past weekend and honestly, while extremely hesitant and just a bit nervous, I had a really great time. It was more of a slow walk than a crawl, downtown alive with young people.
The weather was insanely perfect, sunny and a happy 75 degrees as I went from rooftop bar to rooftop bar. It felt good to just feel the energy of everyone else going out as well. I think I played it cool, but on the inside, my heart was jumping with joy to be back, baby.
Summer is almost here. As I look back to this time last year, I was feeling prettyyyy bleak about the future. In many ways, it was traumatic, in one way or another. We have never been through something like this, and hopefully, we will never have to again. Looking back on my social media posts and photos I took a year ago, I look at them bitterly, almost thinking, Alexandra, you silly girl. Just you wait!
Now, everything that came from this past year was not bad. In fact, even through all the negative, there was some good. I finished school. I moved and found a new home. I began grad school. I got into a relationship and then got out of it real quick, which then allowed me to figure out some pretty important lessons. I met new friends. I got a new job. I am also happier than I have been in a longgg time. And you know what, while I can’t say this pandemic has been a blessing, especially with so many losing so much, I can however reflect on how big of a year 2020 was for me. I had high hopes for 2020. But alas, like the best of us, we too let each other down in extroardiary ways. I however am content with how life is right now, knowing that as much as I wish I could be somewhere or doing something else, it all comes in perfect time.
“My heart is at ease knowing that what is meant for me will never miss me, and that which misses me was never meant for me.”- Imam al-Shafi’i
Today’s Mantra:
“I AM taking one day at a time.”
blessings, a
Little Alexx Blog 
Well said little lamb. Well said. God is so good. So proud of you. Love mama♥️
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