ser-en-dip-i-ty:
1. “The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.”
LIFE. IS. INSANE.
Just when life seems to be going smoothly, all of sudden, you get knocked on your ass. Honestly, I should get this tattooed on me because of how many times it has happened to me. Or how many times I’ve actually said it.
The past two weeks I have worked myself to exhaustion every day. Aside from fixing up the resturant, I have also been enlisted to help my mom fix up the house. Painting, yard work, building things for her. It’s been actually really nice, a good excuse to get out of the house to enjoy the weather but also be productive. I really love working with my hands and honestly, I didn’t realize just how independent I was. I’ve used tools I’ve never used before and I did it all by myself. I’m proud of me.
Her house is looking absolutely lovely, and it’s a good feeling to look back and admire hard work. I’m all but starring in my own HGTV show, CALL ME JOANNA GAINES!
Aside from the manual labor, I’m still finishing up school (1 paper left and I’m A COLLEGE GRADUATE!), I’m also really soaking up this weather, taking Hem out for hella long walks every day. It’s a beautiful feeling falling asleep exhausted every day, knowing all of the work I have accomplished. That’s it. I feel accomplished. I feel independent. I feel as though I’m making a difference, and while everyday I’m either finishing painting one side of the house or fixing up the flowers, I still know I’m making an impact.
Speaking of impact, if you know me at all, you shouldn’t be really surprised but here’s a heart warming story. So, every year on my grandparents property at the restaurant, we have the same mama duck who makes her nest and blesses us with her little ducklings! This year, she had so many! When it was finally time for her to pilgrimage down to the lake to continue raising them, I walked them down, to make sure that no cars hit them. When I came back up, I realized she had left behind 5 of her babies. She didn’t come back for a long while, and as time went on, I got worried because they can’t survive more than a few days without their mama. When they got a bit curious, and ran out into the parking lot, I chased after them (honestly it was kinda hilarious me running around after 5 small ducklings, Hemy barking from the inside window, seeing me (he loves freaking birds and ducks)). After almost tripping and falling, I finally got them all. They were absolutely precious, chirping loudly. Call me Mama Duck because I wanted to keep them forever, but I didn’t. I took them down to the lake where I knew the rest of the mamas were, and let them smell each other out. Finally, FINALLY! A mama duck called out for them and my little baby ducklings swam out to her. I may or may not have cried, just in awe of the beauty of nature. I watched them for a while, to make sure she is fully adopted them as her own. I still see them all every day on my walks and they are doing well!
So, aside from saving little baby ducks, as I was sweating to death yesterday, mowing and weed eating the yard, I thought to myself, huh. Alexandra, your blog post this week is going to be so uplifting and really positive! You go girl. You got this. Right? Maybe. I had this realization, a eureka moment if you will. I’m honestly really freaking tired of putting up with people who aren’t doing anything positive in my life. We all know the types. Yet, we have this weird sense of duty to continue on in friendships with people who really aren’t even that nice to us? So. I went through and purged my life. As my life and connections are based out of social media currently (thank you quarantine) I purged people on my accounts, blocked numbers, unfriended, unfollowed, and honestly, just got rid of negative energy, all the while, respecting myself. I deserve to have good people in my life, friends and family who love me, who want the best for me. I felt like I was making headway. ~POSITIVE VIBES ONLY~, my therapist was so proud. Making headway! Woo!
Then, life hit me. In a big way. I’m actually nervous even writing this out, butterflies in my stomach, my hands shaking. You see, just when you think the water is smooth sailing, there is still a ripple somewhere, a light breeze, or a storm coming. That’s the absolute beauty of life. The unexpected happens to you, fate hits you right in the face, and you’re faced with stuff that you didn’t think you’d ever see again.
Have you ever had an experience before and it didn’t seem real? Like. It wasn’t real life? Well. That was me yesterday. I thought I was dreaming. How many times I’ve had that dream before, replaying different scenarios in my mind. Fight or flight is a real thing, but what about when you’re helplessly paralyzed, a deer in headlights? I would consider myself a rather eloquently well spoken person. Have you ever been so caught up in making sure you don’t faint that you forget how to speak? Because same.
The point is. Honestly guys, I’m trying to figure all this life stuff out. I’m a big believer in fate. I believe that somewhere out in the universe, there is a cosmic pull that brings people and things together. I also believe that while that may be the case, there are situations that are placed in your life for a reason, either to test you, to help you grow, or to love you. It just matters how you interpret that pull.
I’m interested in how funny life seems to be. Because at this point, it’s absolutely hilarious. Keep it coming, Fate. Let’s see what else you’re going to throw at me!
Today’s Mantra:
“I AM allowing what will happen, to happen.”
Blessings, a
Little Alexx Blog 
Well baby girl. I know that slap of reality and I am so sorry that you had to know it too. It stinks. It’s heartbreaking. It will get better. I will let you know when! Keep writing these wonderful words so that others who are also hurt or heartbroken will know they are not alone. Life is so weird right now but thank God we have one another and we have our health. You are doing awesome. Just one day at a time little girl. Love, mama.
LikeLike