Little Alexx Blog

A new week, a new blog post. My days are running together now. I proudly am back in my robe at 3pm every day, and would highly suggest that you buy a fuzzy one yourself. So much elegance, so much class!

Honestly, I wasn’t too sure what to write about today. Yiayia told Popou that there were $1 tacos for take out at a local Mexican resturant, (support local business!!!!!) but of course, my family has no sense of direction, so I guess after being extremely annoyed, he ended up going and buying tacos from Tacobell….our stomachs are going to hurt tonight. While sitting there, munching on the world’s worst tacos, I thought about what amazing and uplifting post I would present to you today. It’s crazy really. Nothing seems to have been happening. At least nothing that everyone else isn’t going through as well.

Today and tomorrow are both of my best friend’s birthdays, (HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY CASSANDRA AND MARY ELIZABETH!!!!) and I’m so sad to not be there with them. Just last year, we were raising hell up and down Dickson in Fayetteville celebrating them. This year, my Instagram picture and tag sadly had to suffice. I miss my friends, man. I really miss Sunday girls night, eating way too much chips and salsa, and enjoying the happy hour menu a bit too much. I miss being around the comfort of companions. Shit, I even miss the people who would gawk and stare when one of us said something inappropriate and we felt into a fit of giggles and screeches. It’s funny really, because I’m not even one to party hard. I much prefer to have a nice night in than to be out at all hours partying. However, once this ends, I think we all deserve a little vacation.

3 days before I moved back to Missouri, it was an absolutely beautiful sunny and windy day on campus. It was the first time in many months that I felt very at peace. It wasn’t too hot where I needed to hurry inside to sit in front of a fan but also wasn’t too cold, freezing me to the bone. Like Goldilocks said, it was justtttt right. I remember walking out of class, having got out a bit early, and didn’t have my headphones in, so I was fully aware of my surroundings. I decided to take my time, walking with my head up, soaking in the sun, rather than down, avoiding the wind and eye contact with people. It was then I felt time somehow…stop. I believe there are certain places in this world where time just doesn’t seem to exist, such as airports, libraries, etc. For me, college campuses are one of those kind of places. People young and old walk, skate, bike, and run around, everyone in their own world, doing their own thing. As I continued walking, almost in a trance, time moving slowly, I felt this tiny voice in my head saying, ‘This is it, Alexandra. This is the last time you’re going to be walking this campus as a student. Take it all in, because you won’t be coming back.’

I was suddenly transported back to the first time I ever stood on campus. I was freshly 18, full of excitement and wonder, on a college visit, worried if I looked like I fit in, with the hopes that maybe a cute college guy would notice me in the crowd, teenage rom com style, ask me out, and then we would fall in love??? (Now knowing what the tours look like from the eyes of an upperclassman….Yeah, no chance in hell was I going to find Prince Charming, but I DIGRESS!!! At least I had dreams!) I remember taking the tour, amazed at how beautiful the campus was, how gorgeous the buildings were, how cute the guys were, and honestly, how naturally I felt being there. It was like something snapped in me. I knew it. This was where I was always meant to be. A college campus, filled with educated minds, dedicated to educating the minds of thousands who would eventually walk the same path of the tour I went on.

Going back to the main tour building, we watched a video on how much it would cost to attend school at the U of A. Don’t get me wrong, I knew college was expensive, but to an 18 year old, $100 is a lot of money, much less $40,000. I left dismayed, knowing that my options were limited. I applied anyways, filled out scholarships and grants and my mom, being the badass that she is, helped me figure it out, which I am forever grateful for.

As I just recently walked campus, I remembered being dropped off as an official freshman. Mom had helped me move in my stuff, climbing 9 stories at the legendary all girls dorm, Reid Hall, during the hottest day of the year. Hugging her goodbye, asking if she wanted to stay a bit longer, I climbed the stairs back to room 918. There, I was alone for the first time in my life. And you know what I did? I cried. And then I got undressed and danced around naked in my room. It was a beautiful time in my life, to feel so scared, so alone, so full of wonder, at the possibilities of what the next 4 years would look like. Had I known what they would look like back then, I don’t think I would have changed a thing, really. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made lots of stupid mistakes, but through these mistakes, I’ve become the Alexandra I am today. The woman who puts her dog in sweaters and wears a robe at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Cheers folks. To being 18 again, whatever age you are, and dancing around naked in your room.

https://youtu.be/6ul-cZyuYq4

Today’s Mantra:

“I AM going my own way, regardless where I decide to go.”

Blessings, a