Little Alexx Blog

Day… oh gosh, 10 isolated??? The most I’ve done the past few days is take Hemy on a walk by the lake every afternoon rain or shine. He’s definitely enjoying me being home with him so much as well as being the center of attention and baby of the family. Our days stuck in isolation begin with me waking up to the sound of Hemy’s snoring. It’s a good thing I love him because he sounds like a little piggy. How can I say this nicely without sounding pathetic…? I’m so lonely! I live with my elderly grandparents, so I am trying to stay as far away from them as possible, which also includes no physical contact. If you know me at all, physical contact is my love language and I’m always down for a solid hug. It’s been a minute since I’ve touched anyone, much less got a hug. Hemy is now being used not only as an emotional support animal, fur child, and grandchild, but also a real life stuffed animal I can snuggle with. And man, does that little boy like his sleep. If I awake him up before 9am, he will give me the evil eye and go back to sleep, positively annoyed by the fact I dare disturb his slumber.

I normally don’t eat breakfast but this whole staying in has made me eat more meals than I’m used to, as well as not knowing what day of the week it is. I’m in complete limbo. Thankfully I know it’s Tuesday, (blog Tuesday!) so it’s all good there. Did I have a whole bowl of mashed potatoes yesterday because I wanted to? Hell yes I did.

Aside from the unfortunate bowl of mashed potatoes and then walking off the calories of said potatoes, I am trying my hardest to get back into the swing of things. I’ll be honest with you. School is the last thing on my mind at the moment. It’s been a solid week since I’ve officially moved back to Branson, and in that time, I feel like it’s been a month. Every day brings more information and seems scarier than the last. I hear different PSAs and announcements and I feel as though I’m in a Hollywood movie. It’s a very odd moment of time we are all experiencing. I’ll fully admit to the fact about 4 weeks ago, before all of this got super serious, I was out at happy hour with my girlfriends laughing about how silly all of this was and just how insane our parents were for freaking out. Well, shit. Look at where we are now. I’m officially unemployed for the first time in my adult life, I’m officially out of my place in Fayetteville, and my life has done a complete 180 in a span of 8 days. If anyone had told me this is where I would be now, I would have laughed in their face. Oh wait, I already did that. I’ve never had difficulty with school, however this past week, I’ve had a hard time trying to get back to focus with it. To be honest, I don’t really care much about the elective classes that I had to take to graduate. It was difficult enough being interested in something I wasn’t passionate about anyways, looking forward to the next thing, however now, I have bigger problems. How am I going to pay my bills and help my family? How long will this go on for? Will my family and I stay safe? Etc etc, bigger problems than worrying about the different scientific names for primates. I understand school is important, but I think everything should be put into perspective a little bit. The world is going to keep spinning and lives will and should continue, but I think the current circumstances should be taken into consideration.

I really wasn’t planning on complaining about school in this blog but it has been on my mind, obviously. I’m trying to play catch up, not having the motivation to really do much that doesn’t involve worrying about my future in a sense?

Speaking of worrying about my future, I had a very good therapy session yesterday, after taking last week off to figure out my life. I was really making progress with her the past few months and yesterday was a solid session of the encouragement that I needed. Unlike my friends and family, my therapist has seen me change in ways that a lot of people can’t really notice! We’ll see how these next few weeks and month look. What a life we have, huh?

Again. Please stay home if you can. Go out in nature, stay away from people, get some extra sleep, eat some good meals, love on your people (from afar!) be safe everyone ❤️

https://youtu.be/cPtw_Cd3zTk

Today’s Mantra:

“I AM going to be okay.”

Blessings, a