Little Alexx Blog

Whoops…. hi there.

So yes. It’s been a bit since I got on here. And I don’t really have much of an excuse. Writer’s block? Suffering from procrastination? Granted, I was sicky for about 3 weeks there, but come on, I could have totally written these blogs in bed. Please forgive me.

Well hello! If you’re new, welcome. You’re gonna get sucked in and wish you never clicked on the link to read into the personal online diary of Alexandra Tsahiridis.

Okay, I’ll be honest. I feel as though I haven’t had much material to write about in the past few weeks/months (??) Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot of shit go down in my life recently, but perhaps it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to be writing about on my extremely public blog. I’m currently in the process of applying to graduate schools all around the country and I didn’t want the first thing the admission committees see when they looked me up was me complaining about boys, jobs, people, and just life. But I guess that really isn’t being honest with you, my readers, huh?

In the beginning of each year, I give myself a word. It becomes a personal mantra, if you will. The word of 2019 was Sincerity….. Before I decide to do anything major or honestly even going out for drinks with friends, I stop myself and think, am I being sincere? Do I sincerely want to do this, attend this function, hang out with these people?

Now if you know me at all. You know, well, I’d rather be home with my dog and plants. Especially in these awful winter months. It’s just gotten to be in the miserable 20s and I go out as little as I possibly can. So, me doing something past 5 o’clock other than working in the winter, is a rarity.

As I begin to think about the final days of 2019 and a DECADE!!!!, I have to think, have I been sincere this year?

I started the year off celebrating my 21st birthday with my friends and family, to jump on a plane to Las Vegas to ring in the legality with my mom and Yiayia (which was intense, they party hard). I finished up my spring semester of my junior year, nursing an ever bleeding broken heart, that led me on beautiful adventures over the summer, reminding me how small I am and how much of the world I have yet to experience.

I took my fur child to my new home and adjusted to living alone for the first time. I have also had to come to terms with a job that I originally thought was going to be awesome but turned out to actually be more harmful than helpful. I then spent my fall and early winter weaving through the deep troubles of staying or leaving. I eventually chose the latter, choosing to save my self-respect and hard work for somewhere that appreciates it. I say this lightly, of course. I’m a hard worker. I like to do good and make others happy, but this was my first experience, in a work environment that was just not good for me. Nevertheless, I prevailed! I held my head high, and have been pretty okay since!

Aside from making money, I sure spent a lot of money on these graduate school applications (HELLO NOT CHEAP!!!) I have a few more left to apply to, but every day I’m getting closer and closer to finishing and leaving.

Of course, if you know me at all, you can already guess that I’m casually having an existential crisis on what is going to happen to me in a few months. So, let’s break it down on a time line. For the next few weeks, I work by booty off back home in Branson, come back early in January for an intersession course, celebrate my 22nd birthday (Capricorn Queen), and begin my spring semester of my senior year of undergrads studies! By mid March- April, I find out which schools I got accepted to and where I’ll begin the next chapter of my life…. but wait. There’s more. Somehow, on weekends and stalking online, I’m going to have to figure out my living situation, maybe even from across the country, so that when May comes, and I walk across that stage, I know exactly where I’m living so my pup and I aren’t living out of my car. Which, technically I wouldn’t mind, but my couch won’t fit in there and I love my couch.

Now I’m left with the biggest question of all. What happens if nothing goes to plan, Alexandra? I love to plan. Ohhh I’m a control freak. Sometimes it soothes me to go through plans out loud, as I have done many times with my family and friends. They think I’m nuts but the ones who understand me, basically just ignore me when I’m in my planning phase and that’s okay. It’s mostly for me, not them.

But to answer the question. I have no idea but I guess I gotta just be okay with it.

And that’s what I plan to do, the next few months. If you’ve stuck around this far, wow. Talk to you this time, next week. Thanks babes.

https://youtu.be/tUUElxEGo0U

Today’s Mantra:

“I AM okay with the world working as it wishes to.”

Lovingly freaking out.

Blessings, a