Little Alexx Blog

I cannot begin to explain how excited I am for the next few months and all the projects I am working on. I am a perfectionist and want everything to just the way I have it in my head. Also, I should add that right now I am sitting comfy in Onyx Coffee shop, with glasses perched on the brim of my nose typing up a storm with my claws for nails and I am perfectly content with everything going on around me. I’m not a coffee drinker (shock and amazement) but I LOVE the smell of it. It’s my favorite thing to hang out in a coffee shop for a few hours and my sweater smells like coffee. Perfection.

So, I am  really working hard on a lot of different things in my life and I feel like I have been kinda living under a rock the past few months. It hasn’t been intentional at all. Now, this blog isn’t private at all, and is honestly the only place I feel like I can kinda get things off my chest (aside from my therapist’s couch!!) (Speaking of my therapist’s couch, ugh, such a great meeting today. I count down the days to Tuesday because it feels so good to just talk to someone who isn’t going to judge me for telling my thoughts. I personally think my doctor gets a kick out of me because everything that happens in my life is so ridiculous and over the top at all times. I’m basically living in my own reality tv show!) and it’s nice to come on here and lament my thoughts and feelings to you lovely people. Last week, I discussed branding and figuring out who I am. Today, let’s talk about what to do when you figure out who you are. I think people just always expect that once you figure out the “who“, the “what” immediately follows. It doesn’t!

So, you got a dream. What the hell you gonna do with it??? I have all these ideas and thoughts and goals and plans, and I definitely get overwhelmed. It’s frightening, trying something new or putting yourself out there. It seems like second nature to come on here and interact with you, but I remember my first few months of making my blog public, I would send every single post to my parents to read over before I published. I was scared I was being too open, too real, even too controversial at times. Gradually, I got over that fear…for the most part. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post from a very fresh place in my heart, and knowing that eyes were upon me, I treaded very carefully. It was a very humbling experience, really. I had to admit that I don’t have it together. I couldn’t keep a relationship from falling apart, and honestly, it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

I was grabbing coffee with my sweet roommate on Sunday after model call for NWAFW, and it felt so nice. She had spent the night back at her grandparents Saturday night while I just went back home to our place after work. While I do enjoy having the place to myself a bit, I felt as though our 12 hours apart was too much, so we obviously had to have a 2 hour coffee break together catching up. We were discussing the interior of the coffee shop, what we liked or didn’t like, and then automatically laughed at the fact that we sounded like we were picking out features for our future homes. I personally don’t feel like a grown up. I catch myself laughing at myself multiple times a day from all the stupid things I do. Technically, I’m an adult, but I sure as hell don’t feel like one. Like, who am I? When my mom was my age, she was getting married, having babies, buying a house, being an adult. I, on the other hand, wake up in boxers and a T-shirt and on my days off work on the computer, eating chicken pot pie in bed. Sexy? Not even. Practical? Most definitely.

I need to put out a nice public thank you to the world for allowing everything to happen to me that has happened so far. Truly. Thank you. I am distraction free and able to literally do what all I need to do with my life. THANK YOU.

I’m currently experiencing a season of waiting. Waiting for the weather to be better, waiting for certain parts of my life to pan out the way they are supposed to, waiting to see where my future goes… I’m enjoying it although I am the most impatient person on the planet!!!!!! I am being tested. Thanks for waiting with me. I have some very exciting news in the next few weeks that I cannot wait to share with you. Blessings to you and yours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGbF2BBgHds

Today’s Mantra:

“I AM patiently waiting for the good.”

Loving this season of our lives. Breathe in. Breathe out.

blessings, a