Little Alexx Blog

I’m done saying sorry. I have been noticing how often I apologize. Why? I walk into a store and someone brushes my shoulder and my first reaction is to say I’m sorry. Why? I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s such a small thing. I have stopped saying sorry for things I didn’t do. The other day, a guy shoulder checked me and I bit my tongue to not say sorry, and he turns to me and said, ‘excuse you?’ (with a very confused look on his face). I told him that he hit me and we kind of just stared at each other. Normally, when I say sorry, the response is, ‘oh no worry.’ Of course it’s no worry, brother, I didn’t do anything wrong.

When a men who knows better and continues to touch you even after you stay stop, why is my first thought the outfit I’m wearing or how I look? What am I doing that deserves this? It’s not my fault he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. When someone continues to bother and bother, why do I question if somehow it’s my fault? Am I too nice? Did I lead him on? I feel guilty for even thought of causing trouble. If you know me, you’ll know that I LOVE to dress up. I look nice every day, hair, makeup, the works. My mom always told me to wear clothes that fit me because well, one day I may not have this body I am blessed with. I dress how I want to feel. Sexy. Comfortable. Me. It’s not for anyone else. I had a man once tell me that I dress for the attention of other men…. How I do my hair or makeup or wear heels. Oh how silly he was. To think I take the time out of my day to dress and look and worry about what other men think about me. You snooze, you lose, man. 

Every time this happens, a little piece of my female soul is chipped away with disrespect.

I’m not the only one to experience these thoughts.

Just because a man doesn’t have the decency to stop when I say no, DOESN’T mean it’s my fault. No means no. It’s 2018. Women and the rest of the progressive male population are done with your misogynist bullshit that should have been left in the 1950s. It’s my body and I can do and wear and say whatever I want with it.

That being said.. I had a wonderful experience (as usual) with Northwest Arkansas Fashion Week. I walked all three nights and while it was overwhelming, it was really wonderful being back with my fashion family! Thank you, thank you, thank you, to Mary Elizabeth, Joe, Sierra, and Jaisha who came to support me. Love you all. WOMEN SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN. 

Am I the only one who has a relatively easy first few weeks of classes and BAM, gets hit with 9 tests, 4 essays, and a reflection on my life? I’m a wee bit dramatic but it honestly feels like that. Thanks for allowing me the week off last week. It’s been a hell of a ride and I feel as though I am just one or two steps behind, forever trying to play catch up with everything in my life. It’s going so fast and I am just watching it all goes past me. Time to pull in the reins and get stuff done. Amen.

Have a great rest of your week. Respect each other, support women, register to VOTE!!!

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Today’s Mantra: 

“I AM heart-centered.”

love the females.

blessings, a