Little Alexx Blog

I can’t remember the last time I spent a full weekend in Fayetteville, or the last time I have gotten a full night’s sleep, but I don’t mind the constant moving around.

I went home this past weekend to spent time with family and to celebrate my little brother’s Eagle Scout ceremony! We are so proud of him and thank you to all who came to celebrate with him. 

I had to leave early on Sunday morning to get back to Arkansas for a photoshoot, and as I drove and it poured down rain, the clouds began to clear and fogged emerged along the green of the hills and valleys, slowing lifting, to make it look as though the cows I drove past were floating in midair. Some do their best thinking in the shower or when they are out on a run. I have my Eureka! moments while I drive. I have a pretty long commute to work everyday and while I do blare my music most of the time, blame my Celine Dion obsession, I have moments of silence, with my mind drifting off into different places.

As I chugged along in my little Camry, I began to think about my timeline. I have so much ahead of me, be it school and working, to all the places I want to travel and the people I want to meet. Recently, I have come to terms with the fact I’m going to own the ‘single’ status for a little longer. And before you scoff and roll your eyes, let me explain myself. This is not a ‘woe to me’ post. All I can say, is that I am just not ready to be with someone. And I can fully admit that. I am just not ready for YOU. I used to say, even if I had the option of meeting my soulmate right here and right now, I’d tell him to give me a few years. I am under reconstruction. I want to be the best person I can be, not just for him, but for us. I’m 20 years old and as single as can be. I have a lot of my friends who are seriously dating someone, or engaged, or married. And I am so very happy for them. However, we are all on different timelines. Allow me to grow up. Allow me to explore, learn about the world and myself, and better understand this crazy crazy life.

We all hear the phrase, ‘right person, wrong time’. I personally believe that if it is the right person, it will be the right time. I just haven’t had that ‘right time’. There are just things that happen in life, meeting your best friend, meeting your partner, having an unexpected opportunity, ect; that you don’t see coming, right? Some people just pop up in your life. I am open to the world and all it has to offer. I wish for lessons and learning, for growth and development, for success and understanding.

I live in a world that tells me that I am not somebody until I become somebody’s. I say no. Who is to say that I have to be with someone to be someone? Love because you want to. Don’t rush it. Let love be real. Let love be authentic. Let love be raw. Let it push you to be better, to do better. Let it heal you. Allow love to transform your life. Allow it to be. But never allow it to dictate your self- worth.

“Oh darling, we’ll be fine….. So let’s love, while we’re young.”

Today’s Mantra:

“I AM open to the abundant flow of the Universe.”

love now.

blessings, a