Little Alexx Blog

Midlife crisis at 19 years old?????? We’ve all have been there. We’re sophomores, juniors, and seniors (freshman, y’all got it easy) and we can all see the graduation stage close ahead. What the hell am I doing with my life?

Listen. Right now, we are in the BEST part of our lives. For most of you, your only obligation is to go to school, make good grades, not get arrested or die, and graduate with a degree that will hopefully lead you to a life where eating ramen noodles is a thing of the past. This is the only time in our lives (for the most part) where we can take afternoon naps, roll out of bed in a big t-shirt and messy hair and run to class. It’s a time where we can go get donuts at 2am and dance on tables at frat houses (Impressive in heels, btw). It’s a time when we can sit around and have conversations about how the pyramids got here and all the theories behind it, and (for the most part), no one will call you crazy. (But honestly, let’s talk about this, because there is just no way that little humans made structures that big…. just consider it….)

“I used to ask specific signs all the time from the universe but she doesn’t do that. I don’t think she’s going to follow a little person’s rules. You’ve got to listen to her. Quiet parts of yourself that are full of friction, irrational fears, negative thinking. Sit with nothing, live in this and let things come to you. Let her speak the way she’s gonna speak. She’s got a lot to say to you and she’s saying it every day.” -Emery Allen 

 

Lately, my conversations with people have been about how scared to death they are about what they want to do with our lives. Freshman year is over. Sophomore year begins weeding people out of their degree choices. It’s bound to get harder. Yes. We will stumble, but our stumbling shouldn’t cause us to doubt our love and passions. But honestly, is it really so wrong to not know what we want to do? While it would be ideal to know exactly what we wanted straight out of high school and begin our steady travels through our majors, THANK GOSH I am not the same person I was when I graduated. Granted, my major and minors have stayed the same, however my thought process and meaning behind each of them has changed. For the better.

What are your passions?

I understand that we are all trying to fit our passions into well paying jobs, but if you aren’t happy? What is the point? Why be stuck in a life of loathing what you do and doing what you loath? The bottom line is: enjoy where you are right now. Don’t worry. You will find your niche. The real world is out there and quickly approaching, but if we continue to fret and worry about ‘someday’, today will be gone in a blink of an eye.

“Nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking you should have your life together already.”

You’re going to be okay. Trust in that.

As a few of you lovely people know, I work weekends at Sam’s Club as a sample girl (WOO WOO!) and when I am not giving out free samples of cheese to people, I get to spend a lot of time in my head. So on Sunday, as the many waves of church goers came and went, buying in bulk and collecting their haul of free samples of food, I began to break down what it means to be alone and that it’s okay to be alone. Actually, It is more than okay to be alone. I really disliked the 2016 movie, How to Be Single” until the last minute and a half. Below is a link to the closing scene that makes me tear up every time. But honestly, she is so right. Enjoy. (Ignore the subtitles unless you can read Turkish).

I just really think we all need to be alone for a certain point in our live , because it is when we are able to truly be ourselves. However, for some people, being by yourself is just too hard, being with your thoughts and ideas. But my argument goes on to question how we are ever going to understand ourselves if we are never given any time to be without someone shaping and molding you. Now. This is not Alexandra giving you permission to become a hermit and live out the rest of your days under a rock, however I am promoting self care and reflection. If this is that time in your life where nothing really much is going on, well honey, you’ve just been blessed by the universe herself. You have been given this sweet gift of discovering and morphing into the best possible version of yourself. Find a hobby. Break bad habits. Wake up early and watch the sunrise. Drink some hot tea, go for a run, BUY A PLANT!!!  If you can’t think of anything to do, just ask me. I’ll give you a few hundred different options and live vicariously through you. You go baby. You shine.

 

 

I just really want to take a moment and thank everyone for their wonderful comments and feedback. It has been more than I was expecting by a long shot. I was so incredibly nervous to make this public and throw out my thoughts, feelings, and passions that I have kept this side of me (and this blog) private for almost a year now. It wasn’t until a long time of reflection that I decided to start over and publish publicly I have gotten wonderful comments and have met with some really wonderful people. I learn more about myself when I listen to you. Your struggles and perseverance makes me stronger. As it happens to be World Mental Health Awareness Day…. Keep going. You are worthy. You are stronger than you know. It’s okay to not be okay. You’re not alone.

Today’s Mantra: 

“Amidst the motion & movement of life, I AM a Conscious Presence.”

The song for today, I have been listening to for the past few days and I can’t explain why I like it so much. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OROYzJs2Ksc

Be love.

Blessing, A