Personally, my best work usually comes from a place of hurt or sadness. I get angry, frustrated, stressed, and I take it out on paper. Totally an angsty artist. However. Currently, I am very happy. Which, sounds wonderful, but for the sake of this blog, I’m severely lacking creative roads to travel down. What can I say? I’m just happy.
This past week I received really really freaking awesome news about something I’ve been waiting on for a while now (I’m working on my patience….) and I’m beyond thrilled. I don’t know what the future may hold, but dang, it sure looks bright!! Don’t get me wrong, my life is insane right now, busy as all get out. I am in severe need for a vacation and while I’m asking for favors, perhaps graduate school could just give me my degree early?? I think that with spring break so close (1 more day left!!!! Just a few more days, and my booty is going to be on a beach outta town!) and summer rightttt around the corner, I’m feeling the pressure of just wanting to be freeee!!!!
I love my job. I love my life, really. But it’s been a second since I have been out of town. This has been my longest “break” of not traveling anywhere since I moved here last summer. I can’t believe it’s almost been a year. Granted, I still think of myself as a newbie, mostly because I wasn’t out and about like I am now. I try not to have regrets, but I definitely wish I had been more proactive in going and doing stuff. Eh. Everything is a learning lesson. It all happens in perfect timing for me. When you aren’t looking for it, good sneaks up on you.
You see. It’s almost been 5 months since I made myself a list of things I swore I was going to do better. Every so often, especially if I find myself sinking into negative thoughts, I pull out that hand written note I made for myself back in November after 4 days of nonstop crying and think about all that I have accomplished in just a few months. I remember months ago thinking, Jesus Alexandra. We gotta start all over again. And it’s really hard. But. I’m so thankful for it. Thank gosh I started over. Thank gosh I am where I am now. I have really come so far this past year, truly. In my mental and physical health. I still have moments looking in the mirror thinking, ‘come on girl, you can do better’ but instead of thinking negatively towards my reflection, if I don’t like something, I’m able to thinking a bit more optimistically about working harder. I am learning to love others and myself better.
I feel like my relationships and friendships are in a much better place than 5 months ago. I feel more at home here. It’s like I really belong, not that I’m just visiting. Like mom says, the days are long, but the months/years are short. These past few months have flown by for me. Of course, in the middle of a grueling work out, no, time goes by extremely slowly. However! For the most part, my good days go by in a blink and I can’t really say I have had any bad days in a very very long time. I am just happy. It’s a beautiful thing to feel appreciated and wanted. I’m a pretty dang happy girl. Also. I may or may not have went viral on tik tok. Now. Before you roll your eyes, I didn’t realize it was going to blow up like it did but over 800k views later, I’m just really surprised! Haha dear lord. This is my life now.
Today’s Mantra:
“I AM starting over.”
blessings, a
Little Alexx Blog 