It wasn’t until I had all of my girlfriends together this past weekend that I realized how much I missed having a community around me. Being that I work like a crazy woman, my social life is a bit on the lacking side. I sometimes wonder if I bury myself so deep in work and school to avoid having to go out and be the extrovert I know I am. It’s just so easy to stay home. I am for sure a home-body. Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel and go out and do things, but I am never home as it is, so when I do have the chance to be, lordy, I take advantage of it, fuzzy socks and glasses on.
This past week I had three friends with birthdays and man, did I get my extrovert time! I am exhausted. But my heart is so full. I was just so happy to be with my buddies. I know I was probably grinning like a goof when I was out and I get overly excited at the thought of girls night, but hey give me a break! On Friday, I had the pleasure of being with three of my closest girlfriends from my teenage years. We are the final four of our little high school group, and it has been a year since we were all together at the same time and 21! We laughed, we hugged, we rubbed noses (eskimo kisses are my favorite, weirdly enough), and I just had a really great time. Being that I am graduating in a year and moving away to grad school, Cass going to med school, Morg working, and Kayla beginning to teach, I know that my time with us being together and single in limited.
As we sat around the high top table in the country bar, giggling over our drinks at the cute cowboys nearby, we touched on a subject I thought I only had a problem with… date anxiety. If you’re confused by what I mean by this, let me explain. You know when you have a date with someone and an hour before as you’re getting ready, you kind of panic? For me, I try to find any excuse in which to cancel. It has literally nothing to do with the other person, but I all of a sudden feel the desire to take off all my makeup and hide in bed. I usually have to call my mom or have my roommate talk me into it, but after having one too many disastrous dates, I am a little hesitant to want to go out with someone. I do end up going and have a good time, but it is a very stressful process. I’m not nervous, but I am definitely uneasy about it. Why do we feel this way? Now, I haven’t had the chance to talk to guys about it, but us girls got pretty into it. It’s not so much that we are nervous, I mean, we did agree to go on a date with them, but it’s this unsettling feeling of, oh god, this may be such a waste of my time. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have been pleasantly surprised by really really great dates and others I have left wondering why I wasted time going out. I’m curious if this is just a female phenomenon or if guys feel this way as well…? Let me know in the comment section or dm me!
Just 15 days left of the semester for me and it is all of a sudden hitting me hard, having 4 major papers due this week, and then spending all of next week studying for finals. AND THEN OFF TO HAWAII AND EUROPE FOR ME!!
Will I finish the semester or will the semester finish me? Tune in next week to find out.
Today’s Mantra:
“I AM riding out this wave. Everything is happening for a reason.”
Stay beautiful, lovely, and warm. Be golden.
blessings, a
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