Little Alexx Blog

Do you feel invisible? 

Like you are going through the motions? Why don’t we ask others how they are? Why are we constantly surrounded by people, able to reach them in one tap of a button and yet no one ever checks in with us?

My heart is anxious as I write this because I know many of you sweet sweet people struggle with constant anxiety, stress, and depression (to name a few) every day. When was the last time someone looked you in the eye and asked how you were? When was the last time YOU looked someone in the eye and asked how THEY were?

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a problem doing this. We live in a society that is so worried about stepping on people’s toes that we would rather just be curious and clueless if someone is okay than to ‘offend’ them by checking on them. By the way, that is honestly such BS. We can lie to ourselves and say we are just trying to be nice and give them their space but really, we don’t care enough to approach them and ask. Talk to them. Not only do we live in an ‘walking eggshell’ society, we are also so go go go all the time that we miss out on these small moments that are gone in a blink of an eye, that could change the course of someone’s life.  I am a full-time student who works two jobs, juggles a sorority as well as a social life. I get it. We are BUSY!

 

BUT. (and that’s a big but), that gives us no excuse to not care.  Even just a little attention to others goes a long way. It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about us. Ever had a day that if one more bad thing happened to you, you’d  burst out crying? Ever experienced having that one sweet face turn to you and smile?  No reason, but that smile makes you know that everything is going to be okay. I personally love talking to EVERYONE and especially Uber drivers. I usually sit in the front seat because I’m ‘mom’ and I ask these drivers their stories. And man… Have I met some pretty amazing people on these rides. They have to listen to a bunch of rude, drunk college kids all night and just a small normal conversation about their pet cat Larry can lift spirits. Rock on Uber drivers!

“The hardest battle you will ever fight is between who you are now and who you want to be.” 

This past week I sat and just listened to others talk. In case you were wondering, that’s how I come up with the theme of what I want to blog about that week. I wrestle with topics all week and don’t begin writing until about eh, an hour before I publish. It’s heavy on my heart, therefore, I write. I will never use names, but I hear struggle. I hear pain. And it’s all tied together with a smile. So I sit and listen. I take it all in and use your  words to contemplate my own life. How does this apply to me so I can help apply this to others? The main focus of these conversations have been about how no one has asked how they were. After doing intense therapy and being put on medication, this person had still not been asked about how they were. First off, how brave of you to admit this. There is a stigma that being in  therapy makes you weak. Quite the opposite, in fact. You are brave. You have taken steps to bettering yourself through a natural process. I am so proud of you.

The weight of expectation is too heavy. Those perfect grades? Rockin’ body? That oh so amazing and perfect relationship? We were not made to have the constant pressure of always rising to these expectations on our shoulders. And we wonder why we all have anxiety now?

To the hurting: 

You are stronger than you know, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. We aren’t supposed to do this on our own. Guard your heart but allow people in.  Sounds tricky huh? As someone who has had countless of hours of therapy for the past 5 years, I understand the gross stigma that those in therapy are ‘crazy’ or ‘really need help’. I’ll stick by my opinion when I say that everyone should go to therapy. It is a way that we can just say what we want to say and lay it out on the table. With a therapists help, we are able to take a step back and dissect what our thoughts are. It is a scary and painful process though. It hurts. But I’m a better person because of it. Open yourself up to the possibility of healing. I remember my first therapy session and I spent an hour telling my therapist how this was so stupid and I didn’t need therapy and I was totally normal and I was dealing with things perfectly fine. I am very surprised my therapist didn’t laugh in my face. Denial, much??  While it may be your baggage, you don’t have to carry it alone.

To the sympathizer:

If you catch yourself nodding your head and saying phrases such as, ‘I get it. I understand’, well, in truth, unless you have been through the thick of the storm that surrounds my life, you don’t get it. You don’t understand. But that is okay. You are here to love me. By expressing my feelings, I am giving you the piece of my heart that has been broken. Protect it. Love on it. I will need it back when I begin to heal, to put myself back together. In the meantime, be patient with me. Back in high school, I would get offended if my friends didn’t know how to react to my pain. As I mature and grow older, how could they begin to understand, or much less know how to deal with me. Although I may not have had a broken leg or sick in bed, I was hurting and no one understood. I had my family, thank gosh, who supported me every step of the way, but it was difficult. As a friend, even if you have no idea what is going on, always love. No matter what.

I want to know your thoughts. What are some possible topics you want to hear about for my next post? I post every Tuesday and I am so so excited to keep sharing with you. THANK YOU.

If you know me at all, you know that I have a love for unique indie bands. And man, do I love this band. Enjoy. And take their advice. Give a little love, you can get a little love.

 

Today’s Mantra: 

“My first agreement is with myself. I AM listening to my needs & taking care of me.”

Love wildly.

blessing, A