Just Enjoy Where You Are Right In This Very Moment.

I gotta admit. It has been a long week.  Ever just get in a funk and feel kind of helpless? It’s just been that kind of week. So, I’m sorry for not posting  sooner. I just felt like I couldn’t post something that’s supposed to be uplifting if I wasn’t feeling uplifted myself. I want to be real and authentic with you. Enough of the hiding behind the screen faking that we are happy all the time. We’re human. Enjoy the humanity of sometimes feeling like trash. BUT take time to look back on all the beautiful things we have in this life.  I was blessed by having my parents and siblings come into town for parents weekend at my school.

“You’re here. You made it. You have survived every single bad day, week, month and year.”

Enjoy the small moments while you can.

Last weekend I went home and spent some time with my family. I sat in the Deli that my grandparents own in downtown Branson and laughed until I cried. I realized that this moment won’t last forever. Yes, yes. Wow, Alexandra, you just now realized that?? But no, really. I sat there with my Yiayia (grandmother in Greek) and Popou (grandfather) and they told me all about how I need to find a good Greek man to take care of me and love me, which of course I have heard a million times but it was just such a blessing and honor to be able to sit with my grandparents and hear all the wisdom and stories they had.  Happy Birthday Yiayia. You’re the best and I look up to you in so many ways.

This has been on my mind a lot so I feel the need to share it. I feel more conscious to my decisions and choices in my life. For a while, I felt like a hypocrite. I would give friends advice and talk to people about why they were settling with people and situations that made them feel miserable. Why oh why do we allow people to treat us badly? Choose people who choose you.  Don’t you know how beautiful and wonderful and fascinating you are? Don’t settle for less than the best.  It all comes back to confidence. Look at your life and figure out if you are happy or not. Relationship? Are you happy? If not, be happy. Have the confidence to know that it is okay to be alone. Have the confidence to know you are going to be okay. Know that you are more than worthy to find love and acceptance. Work? School? Know that there is going to be a job for you. Don’t major in that subject if you hate it but it will provide you with a good living. Do it because you love it. Love what you do.

While going through this metamorphosis type discovery, I had to take a step back. How was I able to tell my friends this, yet I was living the same way? I am almost 20 years old. I am getting older and hopefully wiser. Why am I still giving people who don’t really care about me any attention or room in my life? They do not care. Those who do care are the ones who I can call up and talk to at any time of the day. We pour into each other’s lives. Those are the people who count. My tribe. You know who you are. Everyone else just seems to be there for a good time. So I say enough. I don’t have the time nor the energy to invest my time into someone who isn’t as serious about it as I am. This can go for friends, potential relationships or just people I come into contact with. I am a ridiculously busy person but you know what, if you’re a priority in my life, I’ll make time for you.

I think we all get stuck trying to be friends with everyone and I admit, I was the same way in high school until I realized that although I was friends with a ton of different people in different groups, I spread my relationships too thin. I didn’t take time to invest in them. Now. I’m not saying find two other people, become besties and never speak to anyone outside of your group ever again. Heck no! What I am saying is, know that your time is valuable and precious. We shouldn’t have to beg people to talk to us or go out with us. Friendship and relationships are a two way street. Talk to me. I drive roughly 12-15 hours a week for my job so I am in the car a lot. I listen to audio books (don’t judge, it’s actually really exciting), sing at the top of my lungs, notes that I could never hit, or I talk on the phone. It is mostly people just calling me to rant. Do it. We all need to get it out of our system every once in a while. The more you talk it through out loud, the easier it will be to figure out.

We all have secrets and parts of ourselves we hope no one will ever find out. But it’s how we deal with these secrets and dark parts of us when we truly can be at peace with ourselves. We are so scared to let this part of us go because we think no one will be able to wrestle with these demons.

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” -Rupi Kaur Milk and Honey

Have you fallen in love with yourself? Have you spoken words of love and blessing to your reflection?

This song just makes me happy. Found it a couple days ago and really digging it.

 

Today’s Mantra: 

“I AM a balance of receiving and giving, of being and doing, of intention and conscious action. I AM in balance.”

Love hard.

blessings, A